Wedding Expenses: Who Pays for What?

Weddings are expensive, and navigating the etiquette of who pays for what can be treacherous. The days of assuming the bride’s family will pay for everything are long gone, and with more couples getting married later, many couples assume the entire cost of the wedding themselves. Consideration and discussion are essential for establishing who will pay for what.

The Bride’s Family

Traditionally, the bride’s family is responsible for the largest share of wedding expenses, from the bride’s dress to most of the flowers (the groom traditionally pays for the bride’s bouquet, while the groom’s family often pays for boutonnieres for the groom’s side of the wedding party) and the entire ceremony and reception (including catering, decorations, and music). This can no longer be assumed.

Unless the bride’s family has explicitly stated that they plan to pay for the bulk of the wedding expenses (or that they won’t pay for any), it’s essential to sit down and discuss expectations. Even if they are prepared to pay, it is important to establish budgets. Also, if they help with the expenses, they also earn some consideration in the planning process. Some parents are happy to foot the bill and let the bride and groom do all the planning, but others have their own ideas and would like to be actively involved. Either way is fine, but the ground rules need to be laid down early to avoid tension later.

The Groom’s Family

The groom’s family traditionally pays for the rehearsal dinner and costs for their own wedding attire. Compared to the expectations on the bride’s family, this seems rather unbalanced. Fortunately, many grooms’ families are more than willing to help out.

The same guidelines apply here as with the bride’s family. If both families want to participate, try to divide the costs in a way that seems fair to everybody and doesn’t put undue pressure on family members to spend more than they can afford.

The Bride and Groom

The bride and groom traditionally pay for each other’s wedding rings and wedding gifts for their attendants and each other. The groom pays the marriage licenses and the officiant’s fee, plus the honeymoon.

Tradition aside, it’s best to start out with the assumption that the bride and groom will have to cover the entire cost of the wedding themselves. Before making any arrangements, make sure you know what, if anything, your respective families will pay for and how involved you want them to be. Even if your families pay for everything, make your choices respectfully and with consideration. If you do have to foot the entire bill yourselves, here are some tips for keeping your wedding budget under control.

Others

There are a few wedding expenses that are not usually paid by either the bride and groom or their families. Wedding attendants usually pay for their own attire, including accessories. Out-of-town guests are responsible for their own transportation and accommodations. These can be expensive, so it’s considerate to keep in mind ways to minimize expenses for wedding attendants and out of town guests.

There may also be others who would like to help out with wedding expenses. Grandparents, aunts and uncles, close friends, possibly even an employer. It isn’t generally a good idea to request help from anyone outside your immediate family, but if they offer (and if you feel comfortable with it), accept the offer gratefully. Helping you have the wedding of your dreams is one of the best wedding gifts they could give you!

No matter who is paying, Stonebrook Manor in north Denver can help you plan the perfect wedding to fit your (or your family’s) budget. Contact us today to schedule a tour for you and your partner or even the whole family.