How to Choose Your Maid of Honor

Choosing your maid of honor is sometimes easy. There’s only one woman for the job, and everyone knows it. You know it. She knows it. Your other friends know it. Putting a rubber stamp on it won’t cause any drama.

But if that’s you, chances are you’re not reading this blog. We guess that if you’re reading this blog it’s because you’re finding yourself in a tight spot about this decision. It’s probably going to be the most stressful decision of the wedding. Well, that’s why we’re here to help.

Pick Who’s Closest

Most of the time, if you have a clear sense of who is your closest friend/family member, it falls into the cases where it’s easy to pick. But if you are hesitating because you are torn between picking the one who is close to you and the one you think your mom wants or your future in-laws want—stop hesitating and go with your heart.

Pick the One with the Skills

If you are trying to decide between one friend who is disorganized, often late, and can’t multitask and another friend who always has her life in order, is punctual, and can keep a dozen balls in the air, go with the one who can do it all. Maid of honor, contrary to the name, isn’t an honorary position—it’s a hard job. You need someone who can handle the responsibilities.

On the plus side, this can often avoid drama if you make it clear this wasn’t a popularity contest—you like them both equally but one had skills. Other good ways to sidestep the sense that you’re picking favorites: say you didn’t think one could handle the time commitment (because she has a new job, new baby, etc.) or the expenses (recently fired, new car, new baby, etc.).

Pick the One that Creates the Least Drama

If you don’t think you can sidestep the drama, take the mature one aside and explain that you have to pick the other one because otherwise there would be drama, and that kind of drama is the last thing anyone wants at their wedding. They’ll understand.

If You Can’t Decide, Divide

If you can’t decide between two candidates, you don’t have to. In addition to a maid of honor, you can have a matron of honor. Or, if you want to avoid calling attention to anyone’s age, just have two maids of honor. Or all maids of honor or none. It’s your wedding and if there’s no good way to pick just one, you can change the rules.

At Stonebrook Manor, we have helped many women plan wonderful weddings. Some are very traditional, and some are . . . not. No matter what kind of wedding you’re planning, we can help. Please call 303-557-2347 or email us today to schedule a personal tour of our north Denver wedding venue.