The History of Marriage: Sacred and Secular Weddings of Sumeria

Marriage is an institution likely older than history itself. One can imagine primitive humans looking at the powerful bond between man and woman and knowing that only a mystical force could account for its mystery.

Unfortunately, we do not know what those wedding ceremonies were like, but once written history begins, we start to have a clear picture of marriage, and it’s not all that different from the institution of love that we know today.

When and Where Did Sumerian Civilization Flourish?

Sumerian civilization seems to have begun in the area that is now Iraq about 5500 BC, although written records don’t begin until about 3500 BC. It was composed of a number of city states that flourished in the Tigris-Euphrates River Basin though the 1900s BC. Sumerian writing records many aspects of life, including some of the oldest codes of law. Hammurabi’s Code is the most famous, but there are several older ones.

The Sacred Marriage

The Sacred Marriage is not an actual wedding, per se, but a social ritual that mimics a marriage for religious and political purposes. It is believed that this ritual predates written history, based on pictures on vases, but we’re not sure.

This ritual reenacts the wedding of Dumuzi and Inanna (also known as Ishtar) in order to gain Inanna’s favor. Inanna is the goddess of sex and human and animal fertility. When she removes her favor, people and animals lose interest in sex and no new children are born. In a society where the birth of new slaves and livestock was a primary engine of economic growth, this would be a tragedy and had to be avoided.

The king played the role of Dumuzi, and he made a procession through the city to the temple of Inanna. The bride went through an elaborate ritual in which she was cleansed, anointed, and decorated in ritual garments. She was then emerged from the temple and a wedding was practiced. There was a great wedding banquet and celebration, and the king and the bride would have sex. You can read an R-rated translation of an ancient hymn describing the wedding here.

The sacred marriage was also an opportunity for the king to reassert his status as god and affirm his title “Beloved Spouse of Inanna,” which helped secure his power. In the past it was thought that the role of Inanna was played by a slave or prostitute, or perhaps that it didn’t matter who the woman was. Recent reinterpretations have suggested that the role of Inanna might have been played by the high priestess, and that this was an opportunity for her to assert her divinity as well. This would also allow the two primary powers in the kingdom—the secular and the spiritual, the male and the female—to openly reaffirm their alliance and therefore maintain social order.

Actual Weddings in Sumer

However, when real people were married, the occasion was less religious and more legalistic. The bride was given away by her father in exchange for certain gifts, and a contract was signed. The bridal veil has its first place here, and wearing it was the sacred privilege of a wife. Unlike modern marriage, though, where the husband is allowed to lift the veil, in Sumer the husband put the veil on his wife when he declared her to be his. She wore her veil not just at the wedding, but for much of her life.

She became completely a part of her husband’s family, though on some occasions she might continue to live with her father’s family, though her husband would now pay for her room and board. Divorce was allowed mostly allowed only on condition of infertility, and this also allowed the husband to take a concubine, but, unlike other ancient cultures, he could have only one wife.

It is interesting to learn about the ancient rituals people used to express the eternal truth of marriage: man and woman joining together in love that is as mysterious as it is powerful. We invite you to share your own ritual with us at Stonebrook Manor in north Denver, which is ideally suited to whatever vision of marriage that you aspire to.

Please call 303-557-2347 or contact us today for a tour of the venue.